I don’t have to stand up to something 11 feet tall…I only have to stand up to myself.
There are lots of ways to portray “courage” in words and pictures. I tried out a few doodles and concepts for the Tarot of Michelle. The card (as of now) portrays the back of the controversial Fearless Girl statue, facing down an ominous and abstract zigzag threat instead of the Charging Bull statue.
Fearless Girl is about 50 inches tall, just over 4 feet. Charging Bull is 11 feet tall, not quite three times as high. I wanted to capture this discrepancy, this imbalance of force, in some way, without a politically-charged perspective from some creative camera angle. So I went with a scary-looking black-and-red abstraction that resembles jagged teeth–a hostile and predatory world ready to eat her alive.
Sometimes I feel like the world is that way, mostly I don’t. (See the cards, The Universe is a Benevolent Place and Security vs Risk.) Much of the time the challenges to our courage (and our faith) are small and sneaky, not big and dramatic.
And they’re very often abstract, like the zigzag–a product of our anxieties and fears, not an actual reflection of reality. Statistically speaking, we’re pretty damn safe. So it’s really our minds that are trying to eat us alive.
There are still actual threats and risks. I believe they’re smaller than I believe they are. That seeming contradiction is just part of the confusing, scary picture that encompasses courage and fear.
Over the years, I’ve encouraged myself to be brave and courageous, thinking or saying things like the following.
Stay steadfast yet dynamic. Stay strong, yet flexible.
Me
Meet it head-on. The best way out is through.
Afraid? Do it anyway.
Better to regret the things you did, than the things you didn’t do.
Pick up the knife, and cut the bad part out.
Do what you know is right.
If nothing else, you’ll learn something.
Sometimes (mostly) this helps, and sometimes it doesn’t. The better a backup plan I have…the more I feel supported…the more I believe I’m loved unconditionally…the less I care about someone’s opinion…the stronger I feel…the easier it is to be courageous. I put in the hard work to create those conditions and conquer my fears, and I don’t give myself enough credit for it. If parents can do their best to build courage and resilience in their kids, I can do the same for myself.
And even when conditions are less favorable for courage…when being courageous is an uphill slog, or just utterly freaking terrifying…I do it anyway, and I don’t give myself enough credit for that, either. I don’t have to stand up to something 11 feet tall…I only have to stand up to myself.
A story behind one of the cards in The Tarot of Michelle. Follow the developmental art as a Patron on Patreon.
michelle rau 